This is a picture of my brother, age 16 or so. Sorry bro, but it's pretty much the only photo I have. Just be glad I don't have a picture of us dressed up in orange nehru jackets. Actually I'm glad as well that that moment in our history was never documented. It would've been just as embarrassing to me.
Josh passed away last Friday. He was 67. He'd been in declining health for some time. Heart Failure and Cirrhosis, and some kidney problems, plus a host of miscellaneous aches and pains. It was so gradual that I can't pinpoint any specific time, but definitely over the past couple years.
I've been his taxi service for at least the past five of those years. He'd let his Driver's License expire, and had developed Cataracts, so we'd have had to have his eyes fixed before he could drive again. Cataracts are very fixable, but you have to go through the process: the surgeries, and several follow-up weeks. . And there were too many other things to fix, so that got shelved.
These past couple years have been a blur. Some of it was pleasant: hanging out in his apartment, each of us in a LazyBoy recliner watching TV shows like Stargate and Bones, our restaurant meals and many pharmacy visits. Peace punctuated by moments of sheer terror: several trips to the ER, prompting several Hospital stays--two occasions of having to call 911--a stint in a Nursing Home, and finally Home Hospice.
This last period was the most intense. He was back in his apartment in a Hospital bed with medical folks looking in on him. His son made it down from our neighboring state to the north, and pretty much took over as caregiver. Gotta say, those Hospice folks know what they're doing. At least ours did..
The only upside is that I got to spend some nice time with my Nephew. We always got along great anyway, but I think we have a stronger bond now, from going through this. As far as family, we're the only Crains left. The last men standing.
So life goes on from here. I've put so much energy into my brother's care that I'm probably going to feel, along with great relief, an excess of energy. More than I'll know what to do with.
Josh and I, in the course of his 67 years, have had periods where we got along famously, and others where we were somewhat at odds. But we've always had each other's back. And I think we got rid of much of our sibling rivalry in this last stint.
I don't know just what happens after you cash in the body, just that something does occur. So Josh, as far as I'm concerned is still Josh somewhere, somehow. And probably glad as hell to be rid of the body, with all its problems. Happy trails, bro!
